I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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