I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
