I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
