The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The convent might be a nice break from real life
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
