can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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