And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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