I am puke
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
