Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
