paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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