with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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