I can feel you judging me through the phone.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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