Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
