Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
