i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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