Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
