I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
