is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
