I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
