Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
