I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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