Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
