Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
