I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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