I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
