the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i just google imaged poop.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
