On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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