the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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