Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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