Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I need moral support for this bender
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
