Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my being single is dangerous.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize