just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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