New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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