Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
