halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
