I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
