What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
a search helicopter?!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
