This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
