I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
