oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
