he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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