another moral hangover. fuck.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
