I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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