oh god the rape fog is back!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
