Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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