hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I would ride that face into the sunset
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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