my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
