Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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