Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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