I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
