the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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