Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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