Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
