i jhust puked up my retainher.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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