ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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