The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
