i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
