just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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