we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
