Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
