My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
