bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
