Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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