ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
