Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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